My Testimony "walking with GOD"

Although I know GOD when I was just 4 years old it is because my family moved next to a church and it is also a kindergarden. So, I came to know who GOD is; I heard a lot about HIS story(all from the bible). HOwever, i don't come from a Christian Family. Therefore, after my kindergarden, i never went back to that church. Conversely, i still keep HIM (mean GOD) in my heart.

(Back to last post.) When I was worshiping, the unpleasant vision floated in my mind. It is about fear, disappointment, sadness and hatred memory, that GOD wanted me to remember and make it as part of my testimony to encourage other brother and sister in Christ. My past was a very sad memory that I have mong forgotten about it.

I know that this testimony will hurt my mom feelings, and i know that she also regret for what she had done to me when I was a kid. However, she changed alot after she received Christ, she keep remember what she did and keep apologising to me.

When I was in primary school, my mom like to compare me with other people's children; not only results but also the look. Not to hide the fact that i was much fatter than the other classmate in class. Then she wanted me to get all of my results in high marks than others. It really gave me a stress; everyday I attended 2 to 3 tutor. Actually, I was so tired and exhausted, but doesn't have the nerve to tell my mom, because at that time she was very fierce. Then, this life continued for 6 years.

However, when I was 10 years old. One of my mother's friend introduced a tutor to my mom. And, what really attracted her to put me and my sister there was because that friend of hers told her that her son got a good mark thanks to this tutor. I still remember the 1st day, I came to the tutor day, the atmosphere seems sorrow, fear , scary and sad!! That is because this tutor canned students if they can't finish a task that she gave to her students, not only that she also humiliated them by taking of their clothes and canned them. I really suffered physically and mentally at that moment. I cried to my mom, about what I saw. I still remember that my maid, made fun of me and said that I was telling lies so that I can stop going to this tutor. Then, my mom said that I must carry on with this tutor, because she can't rejected the Kind-hearted offered from her friend. Whenever, the tutor came to fetch me, my heart filled with fear, sadness and hatred. I felt fear because of the tutor; I felt sadness in my heart because of my mom not helping me with the situation I faced; I felt hatred because my mom didn't help and trust me. My life from 10 to 12 y/o was like living in Hell and that life lasted for three years. You can see that, I not only physically but also mentally abused.

Now it reflected me again of my ugliness in treating my siblings, most of the time my parent wasn't around with us. I can forgive them for that, as they are trying to built up a better future for us, children. Because of the abused I faced from the tutor, I placed all my fear and anger on them

My hot hot day~

Today when I woke up, happy and feel that my Holy Spirit grow more taller again. Ha! Ha!(full of hapiness in me ^-^) Now i wan't to have the habit of prasing GOD in the morning, noon, and night. I cleaned up for the morning. Then, I started to pray and talk to GOD of my morning feelings. Beside that, I prayed for my new friends Fan and Mark. I prayed with all my heart so that they can come to life group and get to know more. As they told me they are gonna be busy at that time. However, I prayed that they can spare time to know HIM. (not giving up!!)

Again, I rushed for my LLA appointment. Then, accompany my cousin and her friends to have lunch and find rooms for her next year accomodation. Guess what, after my meal, Mark call me that he is coming to the life group tonight. (My heart was, Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! GOD did it again!!), AMEN!!

Today was a very HOT HOT day!! I was sweating from head to toes... I wanted to rush back home just for a cool bath!! Then again, after my bath... I went to check emails (so addicted to emails....XP!!) Then, again pack up my things to life group... Then waited for my friend Mark almost for 30 mins, but i am reading a book to spare my time. While waiting Lorreine called for help, she wanted me to help to carry some of her presentation model. I said OK!! When Mark arrived, Gerald was in the bus too. Then, we went to J block to help Lorraine to carry her things. She looked so exhausted, tired and suffering from back- pained. Then she was like don't know what to do and carry when we waited for her to give command, she was like walking here and there...haha!!

Again when I arrived life group, my sheperd, Judith wanted me to prepared a testimony of my GOD experience in my life. And I was wondering and thinking of it where does my walk with GOD started? Then when I was worshipping, I had alot of not pleasant vision floating in my mind. The more i worship, the more the vision in my mind reminded me of the sadness, fear and hatred in my heart. I thought I forgot all about it. (To be continued...)